How To Stop Being Insecure And Level Up Your Self Esteem

In this piece, I will offer valuable insights on overcoming feelings of insecurity while highlighting key focal points. The focus here will be on addressing emotional and social sources of insecurity experienced by individuals.

Insecurity stands as a formidable obstacle confronting adults in today’s world. It’s important to note that, within this context, I’m not referring to insecurity stemming from conflicts, criminal activities, political turmoil, or violence.

I urge you to approach this article with an open perspective, aiming to extract valuable insights. Let’s delve into the discussion and uncover ways to alleviate insecurity in your life.

What Are The Main Causes Of Insecurity?

Insecurity often arises from various factors, and more often than not, these factors are within your sphere of influence.

Feelings of insecurity can be the result of mental conditioning, where you’ve programmed yourself to experience such emotions.

Now, the focus shifts to understanding how to overcome this insecurity. Before delving into that, let’s explore some of the primary triggers behind feelings of insecurity:

1.  Lack Of Self-Confidence

When you lack self-confidence, feelings of inadequacy can take root, leading to a sense of not measuring up and ultimately triggering insecurity.

The contemporary world’s most accomplished individuals are those who have cultivated a robust sense of self-assurance, enabling them to confront life’s trials with readiness. It’s natural to experience concerns from time to time.

Nevertheless, these concerns can transform into deeper insecurity if you lack the necessary confidence and self-belief. During my college years, there was a classmate named Jimmy who was widely regarded as the most sociable guy on campus.

Jimmy seemed to be present everywhere, and he had an innate ability to captivate everyone’s attention. He was the life of the party at our gatherings, excelled academically, and exhibited exceptional athletic prowess.

However, behind this outgoing façade, Jimmy had once been shy, socially reserved, and hesitant to initiate conversations. He openly shared that he had grappled with numerous insecurities during his high school years, driven by a lack of confidence that hindered his willingness to explore new avenues.

At a certain point, Jimmy decided to shift the course of his life, determined not to remain a mere spectator in his own journey. Breaking free from his comfort zone, he embarked on a journey to overcome his insecurities.

He acknowledged that challenging as it was to break out of his shell, he remained grateful for the day he resolved to push past his worries and embrace a more adventurous life.

Jimmy emphasized that the process was made smoother by the encouragement, constructive criticism, and positive reinforcement he received from those around him.

Reflecting on Jimmy’s transformation, it became evident that had he not nurtured greater self-assurance, he might have remained trapped within the confines of his insecurities.

2.  Uncertainty About The Future

When thoughts of the future are shrouded in uncertainty, unable to form a clear depiction of forthcoming events, feelings of anxiety and insecurity can emerge.

For many individuals seeking to overcome insecurity, this serves as a starting point for their journey. The lack of clarity regarding their future and an inability to visualize it prominently feature in their struggles.

The hazy and indistinct image of what lies ahead can propel individuals into a realm of diminished self-assurance, heightened apprehension, and profound skepticism. These emotions collectively contribute to fostering a sense of insecurity within oneself.

3.  Inability To Let Go Of The Past

Chances are, you’ve come across stories or documentaries where individuals openly admit to being haunted by events from their distant past. However, if you haven’t personally endured trauma, grasping the depth of their emotions might prove challenging.

Traumatic experiences can profoundly impact certain individuals, leaving behind a weighty psychological burden. Consequently, their capacity to envision a future brimming with excitement becomes compromised. Instead, their thoughts remain fixated on past occurrences, making it difficult to relinquish those memories.

In some instances, these individuals opt for therapy, gradually finding relief over time. Yet, others may choose to forgo professional help, enduring the ongoing repercussions of their trauma. This cycle of distressing flashbacks contributes to their sense of insecurity and mental strain.

Thankfully, a plethora of informative resources can be found online, including books, articles, and motivational videos, all addressing this very topic. If you’re seeking guidance on how to release the grip of the past and redirect your focus toward the present, consider exploring an article on this very subject.

4.  Fear Of Failure

Individuals who grapple with feelings of insecurity due to a fear of failure often lack a comprehensive understanding of the significance of failure. It’s important to clarify that promoting failure as a positive outcome isn’t the intention here.

However, when faced with failure, it presents a valuable opportunity to recalibrate and assess past missteps. This involves a thorough analysis of these mistakes, paving the way for fresh solutions that enhance the likelihood of success in subsequent attempts.

Yet, an aversion to failure can trigger insecurity, spawning unwarranted uncertainties. This apprehension may prompt the emergence of self-limiting queries. Paradoxically, the more questions you internalize, the less your confidence may flourish.

Fear, acting as a constricting force, becomes a hurdle to overcome in conquering insecurity. In fact, surmounting this fear plays a pivotal role in combating feelings of inadequacy. For a comprehensive guide on conquering fear in various contexts, consider delving into the resource provided in this article.

In the journey toward dispelling insecurity, it’s crucial to redirect your mindset away from fixating on the potential of failure.

5.  Comparing Yourself With Others

A pivotal factor contributing to feelings of insecurity stems from the recognition that each individual possesses a unique and distinct identity. Embracing this truth can significantly enhance the allure of life, as it underscores the diversity inherent in human existence.

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Physical attributes may favor some, while mental acumen and elevated IQs may empower others. Rather than engaging in the perilous habit of comparing oneself to others, an introspective journey should be undertaken to unearth personal strengths.

In unraveling these strengths and recognizing one’s innate uniqueness, the compulsion to measure against others dissipates. Instead, a resolute drive emerges to contribute positively to a thriving community where selflessness prevails as the driving force.

In the pursuit of transcending feelings of insecurity, it is imperative to adopt an attitude of complimenting rather than comparing to others. Engaging in comparisons fosters an unhealthy atmosphere of competition, an environment conducive to breeding animosity and discrimination.

By redirecting focus towards self-improvement rather than outdoing others, the propensity for insecurity wanes, replaced by a robust motivation to continuously evolve and uplift oneself.

6.  Creating Unnecessary Rivalry With Others

A regrettable inclination that some individuals harbor is the cultivation of an unhealthy “me vs. them” mindset, often devoid of any substantive basis.

In this disposition, others cease to be seen as collaborators or acquaintances, but are instead perceived as adversaries.

This disposition carries a significant drawback: it infuses one with an unwarranted surge of insecurity. Viewing others as rivals fosters an unrelenting preoccupation with them, or even encourages the devising of malicious schemes aimed at diminishing their standing within social hierarchies.

In instances where such schemes inevitably falter — a scenario that frequently materializes — the resultant repercussions can linger, casting a shadow over one’s life trajectory. Fostering rivalry contributes no positive value to one’s life.

Significantly, when those deemed as rivals appear to be outperforming, a surge of insecurity often accompanies this observation, corroding personal confidence and overall self-esteem.

How To Stop Being Insecure And Jealous

Jealousy stands as one of the most needless attributes within the human psyche, often germinating from feelings of envy and evolving into resentment. Thus, it becomes essential to take conscious steps to steer clear of anything that might fuel jealousy and consequently disrupt our inner tranquility.

When one finds themselves enveloped in jealousy, it is often a manifestation of personal insecurities. Here, I will provide a handful of insights on how to quell both feelings of insecurity and jealousy, fostering a healthier emotional landscape.

1.  Find Out The Main Reason Why You Are Jealous

Envy, as I previously mentioned, serves as the initial seed of jealousy. Envy can arise from various sources, whether it’s witnessing others attain our coveted desires or outperforming us in specific tasks.

While feeling challenged and motivated by others’ accomplishments is natural, allowing envy to fester into full-fledged jealousy can become problematic. When jealousy takes hold, there’s usually an underlying reason for it. To address and overcome this feeling, it’s crucial to delve into the root cause that triggered it initially.

By identifying the catalyst behind your jealousy, you can significantly diminish its grip on you, offering a pathway to alleviate these negative emotions.

2.  Talk To Someone About It

When seeking to overcome feelings of insecurity and jealousy, engaging in open conversations about your emotions can prove to be highly beneficial.

For instance, let’s say you recognize that a specific colleague at your workplace triggers feelings of jealousy within you. Acknowledging your discomfort and the desire to alleviate such emotions, you might choose to confide in another colleague or your spouse at home.

Sharing your feelings and concerns with someone you trust can often yield valuable insights and guidance. Through these conversations, you can potentially gain new perspectives and receive advice that could aid in navigating and resolving the situation.

3.  Be Honest With Your Opinions On People And Things

Experiencing jealousy towards someone or something can cloud your ability to provide an unbiased and honest opinion. Your feelings of envy might lead you to offer opinions that are influenced by bias and sentimentality.

However, to overcome jealousy, it’s important to strive for honesty in your assessments. Aim to approach your evaluations of others with objectivity and fairness, acknowledging their merits and accomplishments.

By consistently practicing this approach, you can gradually alleviate the weight of jealousy and cultivate a more positive and balanced perspective. This endeavor can contribute to your personal growth and emotional well-being.

4.  Be Grateful For Your Abilities

Each individual possesses a distinct and exceptional ability that distinguishes them from others. Taking the time to explore your own unique qualities can lead to increased self-assurance and reduced feelings of jealousy towards others.

Expressing gratitude for your own talents and gifts holds significant value. Instead of fixating on what others possess, direct your focus towards your own attributes and be appreciative of the strengths that define you. This practice fosters a sense of contentment and contributes to personal growth.

5.  Show Kindness And Compassion Always

Kindness and compassion stand as powerful motivators within the realm of human existence. These qualities possess the ability to dispel negativity and unfavorable traits prevalent in the world.

When one embraces kindness, it fosters an environment where jealousy and insecurity have no room to thrive. Insecurities often stem from our interactions and perceptions of others. By cultivating a demeanor of kindness and viewing individuals as unique entities, the propensity for envy or self-doubt diminishes.

Embracing kindness not only transforms our relationships with others but also acts as a shield against the corrosive influence of jealousy and insecurity. This perspective fuels personal growth and contributes to a more harmonious world.

6.  Encourage Others To Do Better

Become a supporter of those around you. While you need not take on the role of their most fervent advocate, displaying genuine interest in their success can counteract any potential for jealousy or insecurity.

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However, it’s crucial to maintain honesty in your words of encouragement and backing. The more you feign support, the greater the likelihood of fostering jealousy and insecurity within yourself. By authentically championing others, you pave the way for a more positive mindset, diminishing the space for negative emotions to take hold. This approach cultivates a supportive atmosphere where individuals can thrive together.

7.  Stop Seeing People As A Threat

Shift your perspective from perceiving people as adversaries to viewing them as potential partners with whom you can collaborate to achieve remarkable feats together. In your journey to overcome insecurity, recognizing that each individual is a potential ally is crucial.

Treating prospective collaborators as threats can lead to various negative outcomes, such as:

  1. Nurturing resentment and animosity between parties.
  2. Fostering feelings of jealousy in response to their accomplishments.
  3. Diminishing your self-assurance and triggering insecurity.
  4. Generating emotional challenges that you must contend with.

By embracing a collaborative mindset, you pave the way for harmonious relationships and opportunities for collective success. This approach fosters an environment of mutual growth and positivity, contributing to your overall well-being.

8.  Congratulate Those Who Are Winning

The art of overcoming insecurity, it’s important to grasp the significance of offering heartfelt congratulations to individuals who have accomplished something noteworthy. Expressing such positive sentiments not only uplifts their spirits and fosters appreciation but also fuels your own motivation.

The inclination to receive congratulations yourself can serve as a driving force, propelling you to achieve even greater feats. Therefore, whenever you witness someone else’s triumphs, seize the opportunity to extend genuine congratulations. Your encouraging words will not only contribute to their sense of achievement but will also cultivate a culture of mutual support and inspiration.

How To Stop Being Insecure About Your Looks

We catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror and experience a range of emotions regarding our reflection. It’s natural to feel a certain level of comfort or discomfort with aspects such as our head shape, body size, shoulder breadth, and facial features.

However, we often fail to recognize that our self-perception might not align with reality. Negative self-perceptions of our appearance can lead to feelings of insecurity.

For instance, individuals who have undergone significant weight gain may internalize distressing thoughts, potentially leading to depression, anxiety, and even a quarter-life crisis. The fear of being ridiculed or judged by others due to their appearance intensifies their sense of insecurity.

Nonetheless, it’s entirely possible to overcome these feelings of insecurity, irrespective of your physical appearance. Here are several practical strategies to help you alleviate insecurities related to your looks:

1.  Exercise Daily

Incorporating regular exercise into our daily routines holds significant importance. Those who maintain a consistent exercise regimen tend to experience enhanced health, improved fitness levels, and a heightened sense of confidence in their physical appearance.

Conversely, inadequate exercise routines can lead to reduced fitness, heightened susceptibility to specific illnesses, and feelings of insecurity regarding one’s appearance. Consequently, breaking free from the cycle of insecurity can be achieved by embracing regular exercise, and one effective avenue is through gym workouts.

It’s crucial to recognize that achieving a healthy body doesn’t solely revolve around conforming to a model-thin ideal. Rather, the focus should be on cultivating overall well-being, irrespective of body size. Admittedly, societal standards often place considerable pressure on individuals, particularly those with plus-size physiques, to adhere to specific body image norms.

However, the truth remains that not everyone will fit these narrow standards, and the pursuit of thinness shouldn’t overshadow the importance of self-love and body positivity. Embracing and celebrating our unique bodies is a powerful step towards dismantling feelings of insecurity and fostering a healthier relationship with ourselves.

2.  Eat Good Food

Maintaining a nutritious diet plays a pivotal role in fostering good health, revitalizing your energy, enhancing mental acuity, and radiating vibrancy. The transformative potential of your dietary choices spans a myriad of aspects in your life.

Adopting a balanced diet holds the key to realizing the envisioned ideal physique you’ve long aspired to attain. Often, feelings of insecurity surrounding our appearance can stem from not nourishing our bodies adequately. A diet rich in fruits and vegetables, replete with vital vitamins that bolster well-being, is a crucial factor in this endeavor.

When contemplating strategies to overcome insecurities related to your appearance, consider the profound impact of consuming nourishing foods. By prioritizing a diet that aligns with your well-being goals, you can take meaningful strides towards embracing a positive self-image and cultivating confidence in your looks.

3.  Get Enough Rest, Especially At Night

Prioritizing adequate rest holds immense significance. It serves as a potent remedy for alleviating stress and anxiety, enabling individuals to exude a vibrant and healthy demeanor. Those who overlook the value of sufficient rest often exhibit pallor, a lackluster appearance, and at times, disheveled appearance.

Envision a scenario where you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, only to be met with a reflection that fails to resonate with your preferences. Upon introspection, you realize that this dissatisfaction could be attributed to inadequate rest or sleep.

The correlation between a lack of sleep and its detrimental effects on overall well-being is not enigmatic. As such, the imperative of incorporating sufficient rest becomes palpable. Carving out moments for daytime naps and securing a minimum of six hours of nightly slumber becomes pivotal.

Upon waking, a sense of relief and heightened mental acuity prevail, equipping you to confront each new day with renewed vigor. This state of emotional well-being and mental alertness curtails the propensity for feelings of insecurity to take root, fortifying your resolve to counteract such sentiments and embrace a confident outlook on your appearance by mitigating stress.

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4.  Be Proud Of Who You Are

When a sense of pride envelops both your self-perception and appearance, it becomes an extraordinary catalyst for bolstering confidence and instilling a profound sense of security.

To begin with, your self-assuredness communicates a resolute acceptance of your authentic self to others, eliciting their embrace and recognition.

Simultaneously, the armor of self-pride thwarts the potential onslaught of bullies seeking to sow seeds of doubt regarding your appearance. This shield of confidence deflects their attempts, rendering them ineffective in their endeavors.

Moreover, the liberation wrought by self-pride allows you to channel your focus toward the substantial aspects of life, freeing you from the shackles of undue concern over outward appearance.

On December 10th, 2005, Kechi Okwuchi’s life altered irreversibly when she survived a tragic plane crash aboard a Sosoliso airline, emerging as one of only two survivors.

The aftermath of this catastrophe inflicted grievous burns and necessitated a slew of reconstructive surgeries. Despite the medical interventions that addressed certain physical manifestations, her visage underwent transformation, a testament to the indelible marks of her resilience.

Amidst the collective anticipation of a life fraught with challenges, Kechi defied the prognosis by embracing her destiny, unwaveringly unfazed by her altered appearance.

Instead, she ascended to unparalleled heights of self-pride, fortified by an unshakable conviction that her inherent beauty transcended societal norms. A luminary was thus born.

In the face of adversity, Kechi sculpted her narrative, embarking on a trajectory that propelled her into the echelons of world-renowned motivational speakers and captivating vocalists.

Her mesmerizing presence graced the stage of British Got Talent, where her extraordinary talent left an indelible imprint on the hearts of millions.

For Kechi, the correlation between self-pride and an impervious shield against insecurity crystallized into a reality. Her journey elucidates the transformative potency of embracing one’s identity, exemplifying how being unapologetically proud of oneself can extinguish the flames of insecurity and illuminate a path to empowerment.

5.  Have “Me-Moments” To Help You Relax And Reflect

Allocating time for solitude stands as one of the most effective strategies to cultivate a sense of well-being. Occasionally, a hiatus from the world becomes imperative, creating pockets of “Me-moments” characterized by solitude — devoid of companions, family, or even pets — where your own presence reigns supreme.

Within this sanctuary of isolation, a profound serenity envelops you, ushering in a state of tranquility and mental clarity. The solace found in such moments acts as a balm, soothing the internal cacophony and allowing your thoughts to converge into coherent threads.

This sacred juncture serves as a haven for introspection, a realm where the tumultuous currents of life can be navigated with clarity. As you immerse yourself in solitude, the cacophony of external influences wanes, granting you the space to unravel your thoughts, assess your circumstances, and unearth solutions that may have eluded you in the clamor of daily existence.

With each “Me-moment” you carve out, a reservoir of relaxation accumulates, bolstering your mental well-being. This tranquility has a ripple effect, permeating other facets of your life, enabling you to traverse challenges with a renewed sense of vigor.

As the bonds of solitude unfurl, your gaze shifts, placing less emphasis on the uncertainty of the future and accentuating the pursuit of your aspirations. The narrative of your life takes center stage, allowing you to concentrate on the steps required to manifest your dreams.

In these sanctuaries of solitude, the seeds of self-renewal are sown, paving the way for a fortified psyche and an unwavering focus on personal growth and achievement.

6.  Appreciate Nature And Life

The splendor of nature and the marvel of existence can serve as a profound antidote to the shackles of insecurity. Amid the tapestry of life’s breathtaking landscapes, we find ample cause to shed the burdens of self-doubt and emerge emboldened.

Within the tapestry of human interaction, a recurring challenge lies in the propensity to critique and condemn rather than celebrate and cherish. In the face of beauty and excellence, let not appreciation waver.

Cultivate the art of bestowing praise generously, recognizing the merit in both the accomplishments of others and the inherent magnificence of existence. By fostering a climate of appreciation, the chorus of positivity swells, drowning out the echoes of doubt and fostering an environment where self-assurance flourishes.

Within this embrace of appreciation, the realization dawns that each individual is a brushstroke contributing to the grand canvas of life. Embrace the diverse shades of humanity, for in this mosaic of uniqueness, lies a symphony of grace and splendor.

Amid the panorama of life’s marvels, let the chorus of appreciation be your anthem, casting aside the shadows of insecurity and heralding a radiant dawn of self-acceptance.


The pages of this article, I’ve strived to present a comprehensive array of insights encompassing:

  1. The Root Causes of Insecurity: Delving into the underlying factors that breed insecurity, offering a nuanced understanding of its origins.
  2. Embracing Your Appearance: Unlocking the keys to liberation from the clutches of insecurity related to physical attributes, fostering a newfound confidence in your own skin.
  3. Overcoming Jealousy’s Grip: Unveiling strategies to confront and conquer the corrosive influences of jealousy, paving the path towards greater self-assuredness.

Embedded within these lines is a resounding message – you possess the boundless potential to sculpt the identity you envision. Your journey is uniquely yours, a tapestry woven from individuality and aspirations. There’s no room for apprehension regarding the dimensions of your achievements or the facets of your character.

Navigate this transformation one stride at a time, as each battle against self-doubt is a victory in the making. Witness firsthand the transformative power of these endeavors, as positive metamorphosis takes root and ushers in a new era of self-belief.